Emo Storytime and A Bit of Ego Swinging

Emo = emotional

In My Emo Era

Hi guyS!

I had a really unnerving, emotional, powerful but overall positive experience last week. The mother of a 28-year-old woman who recently had a medullary stroke reached out to me to speak with her daughter. We’ll call her Emily. Emily had just graduated from Harvard at the top of her class and was planning on pursuing a PhD in science. Now, she felt like all her dreams were shattered and felt really alone. Her mom sent me some of the poetry she had written and I sent her some of mine. She described hope as a cosine wave—something that ebbs and flows with the passage of time. Spoken like a true math/science nerd. Respect 🤝🏽

But jokes aside, I felt like I was reading my own words. Our lives, interests and hardships were uncannily similar—it was wild. I saw myself in her words and she saw herself in mine. We then spoke on the phone. Since I was 15 years out and she was just a mere few months out, I tried to offer advice and act strong while her raw emotions deserved center stage. But I could barely keep it together—the things she was saying and feeling, I didn’t have any words to make it better. I thought I was supposed to be older and wiser but I still felt the pain she was feeling as if my stroke had happened yesterday. Now I just know better how to fold all those feelings up neatly into a box and store it deep in the dark, cobwebby corner of my mind.

She told me that she felt like her whole life, everything she had worked for had been a waste and now all she could do was grieve that life. How could I tell her that that grief never really goes away. It becomes a part of you—marked on you like a scarlet letter and coloring everything you do. She told me how she felt so alone and so removed. How could I tell her that an impassable chasm had formed between her and everyone she knew and could be bridged in time but would never really disappear. That scarlet letter would never let you get too close to anyone.

I couldn’t tell her any of that. So I just held back my tears and listened. I did tell her some things though that I believe with all my heart. I told her things would get better, the sun would come out tomorrow. She would learn how to deal with the new challenges in her life and she would adapt. I told her to remember that she was still Emily. Maybe she had a few new quirks and scars but she was still the same brilliant girl. And in the end, that’s all your friends and family want—to still see you. And I told her that she could still create the life she wanted to live. If she wanted to go back to school, if she wanted to be a poet, whatever, she could still have dreams and she could still chase them. They might look slightly different than they did before or take more effort, but they would still be her dreams based on her passions.

So, all in all, I would say the call was a success. I managed not to ugly cry and we were each able to find validation in the other’s feelings. And, I was even able to shear off the silver linings of this stroke experience instinctively and said them with my whole heart. Growth ❤️

We Win Updates

Due to unprecedented support, we are at capacity for the gala! I’m overwhelmed and excited and my heart is full. I can’t wait to see many of you there! Btw, check out our awesome new logo:

Advocacy Updates

Back on the news talking about the importance of therapy and We Win:

Quote of the Moment

I’m going to be absolutely shameless this time and quote myself 🙈🙈🙈 But here’s a poem I wrote a few weeks ago that fits with the emo 🖤 theme. And my sister-in-law has severely overinflated my ego by telling me how much she loves this poem so now I have the guts to share it.

Scattered

Not like stars splattered across the darkness

But like pebbles washed up on shore

Left behind by the unthinking waves

Too heavy to travel along

Too flawed to be treasured long

Untethered to the sea and land, it waits

For fleeting brushes with the waves

To dull it into a speck of sand

Book Talk

Last month’s reads:

Kindred by Octavia Butler - this book is so unique structurally and really implants itself into your memory. (See previous newsletter for summary) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison - Rajul’s favorite author so I had to check her out :) A searing commentary on race and what or whom constitutes beauty. A young black girl is indoctrinated by everyone around her and by circumstance to believe she is ugly and without value. Heavy and beautiful and dark and thought-provoking and heartbreaking. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer - Fun, quick read about a beloved children’s author who opens grand, private island to four lucky fans. Willy Wonka-esqe but with books—super heartwarming! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr - Sara’s recommendation. Several different timelines spanning from the 1400s to a post-apocalyptic future about seemingly unrelated characters that all get beautifully intertwined by the end. Started off slowly and this author tends to stick to the plot without much introspection which can leave you wanting more but I absolutely loved how it came together. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Currently reading:

Babel by R.F. Kuang (audiobook, yes still) - I’m having a hard time paying attention to this one but I think I’m nearing the end and it just got super interesting. TBD!

Maame by Jessica George (Kindle) - Sheeka’s recommendation. It’s about a 25-year-old daughter of immigrants from Ghana trying to make a life for herself in London. Just started but so far so good.

I’m also thinking of starting a hybrid in-person/virtual book club. Let me know if you’re interested!

Ok time to go figure out the ticket situation for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour film! This girl keeps on giving! Love you all ❤️ See ya in a month! ✌🏽

Best,

Harshada