Erasing Identities, Taylor FTW & Monthly Faves

I’m a nerd AND a swiftie AND a wheelchair user AND…🤓🫶🏽

In My Multitudes Era

I remember watching an episode the Daily Show with Trevor Noah a few years ago and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. He was interviewing disability advocate Judith Huemann. I was shocked—it was the first time I had ever seen a person in a power wheelchair on television.

But as soon as she opened her mouth, her wheelchair was the least interesting thing about her.

She spoke about the advocacy she’s done her entire life—demanding a place in public schools as a student and then as a teacher, paving the way for so many to follow in her tire tracks. She talked about how she led a 28-day sit in of disability activists at a government building in San Francisco in the 1970s that culminated with the passage of basic civil rights for people with disabilities. She discussed working for the Obama administration in the State Department and at the World Bank. She spoke with such confidence and intellect and clarity and class—I was awestruck. Such a formidable woman.

Similarly, my therapist sent me the YouTube channel of this inter-abled couple and at first, all I could focus on was the young man’s disability. I was uncomfortable with their relationship and skeptical of its authenticity—I assumed they were making these videos for money or clout so I dug through video after video searching for hints to confirm my bias/internalized ableism. “How could she really love him?”

But all I found was evidence of a genuine, meaningful connection between two people who just wanted to do all they could to face the naysayers (like I was) head-on and dismantle the overwhelming stigma against disabled relationships. It took a few videos, but his disability faded to the background too as I saw his witty, charismatic and empathetic personality come to life.

I thought all this was a revelation—don’t judge a book by its cover and all that and an encouragement for disability visibility. But, at the same time, it puts an undue burden on disabled people to distinguish themselves in such a way that subverts people’s expectations of them. It’s as if they, we, constantly feel the need to prove ourselves.

I read the personal essay collection Places I’ve Taken My Body by Molly McCully Brown about living in a disabled body. She writes, “My intellect, I’d taught myself early, was the one good part of me. Somewhere along the way, I developed the sense that if I were ambitious and extraordinary enough—if I did everything flawlessly and never stopped moving—I could outrun the truth of my body, leave it behind in the wake of all my excellence.” She talks about the pressure we feel to be fascinating enough to make up for what we’re lacking. To make our disability fade to the background of our perceived fabulousness.

You know when people say, “I’m not racist, I don’t see color,” they’re missing the point of antiracism entirely. I’m learning that erasing a part of a person’s identity is not the goal at all. I need to unlearn the thought that disability is a lack that needs to be made up for. Or something I need to distract people from seeing with shiny accomplishments or extraordinary feats. Disability is just one aspect of a person, not a negative or negligible aspect, but one that craves acceptance.

Monthly Faves

TV show - Hacks (HBO) - season 4 - such great writing, hilarious and heartwarming with a bit of an edge

Book - Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck - short story about two friends trying to make it in this world. I love anything Steinbeck writes and I don’t think I will ever, ever forget this ending that broke me into pieces

Honorable Mention - Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong - novel about a depressed young man who befriends an elderly woman with dementia. Explores mental health, found family and what keeps humans connected to each other. It’s absolutely beautiful but really, really heavy.

Podcast - Unexplainable - explores scientific mysteries and fascinating unanswered questions. Engaging and well-researched.

Song - Dear John (RECLAIMED version) by Taylor Swift - Oh, what do I mean by “reclaimed”? Well, I’ll be thrilled to explain. I could write an entire dissertation on this but I’ll spare you guys since absolutely no one even asked for this answer 😊

In 2019, Taylor’s old record label sold the rights to her first six albums to a bully instead of to her. The bully was like, “Haha, now I own Taylor Swift.” She was pissed, to put it lightly. She decided to re-record her first six albums and ask her fans to only stream the new versions, thus devaluing the bully’s “stolen” versions. While the new versions were great, some lacked the raw angst and charm of the originals but it felt sacrilegious to listen to the “stolen” versions. Fast forward to Taylor becoming a billionaire and buying back the originals and now I can listen to this 2010 angsty savage John Mayer diss track absolutely guilt-free!

Only for Taylor Swift would I learn anything about investments and finance 🫣

Red carpet look - Diljit Dosanjh at the MetGala #SLAY

Quote - Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

—Walt Whitman

Okay, that’s all for now! See ya ✌🏽 in a month!

Yours,

Harshada