Finally Decided On My Second Act & A Few Favorite Things Of The Month

Lights, camera, b*tch smile 😊

In My Grad School Era

“Well, do you want to be someone who has written a book or do you want to be a writer?”

It’s taken me fifteen years of grappling with my former dream of becoming a pediatrician to finally discover a sparkling new dream. Because of a variety of issues, least of which being my capabilities (or lack thereof), every new pathway I considered ran into massive roadblocks that I didn’t feel like trying to step around. But then when Chaya asked me what my intention was with my manuscript, everything seemed to fall into place.

I want to be a writer. Not one who publishes an article once or twice a year. But a full-fledged writer with a distinct voice and her own style. One who reads and writes all day every day and becomes an author. Maybe she’ll even become a writing professor or English teacher one day. (Thanks to my sixth grade math teacher Ms. Harris for putting that last idea into my head two years ago and it hasn’t budged an inch ever since! And possibly following in my English teacher Mr. Harris’s footsteps would be absolutely legendary.)

Yes, I realize that it is on the polar opposite end of the academic spectrum as medicine and science and math—the subjects that are actually in my wheelhouse. But I had to let that dream die completely. Buried all remnants leftover from that life deep beneath the surface. And it felt kind of good to say goodbye to a dream that had just become heavy and unrecognizable.

Now I’m free to throw myself headfirst into this new dream starting with going back to school to get my MFA (Master of Fine Arts) in creative writing from Randolph College. As expected, massive roadblocks appeared on this path too, but I’ve been able to sidestep them surprisingly easily this time. I guess when something is right, time, people, distance, the universe, everything works together to make things happen for us.

The program is mostly online except five 10-day residencies on campus in Virginia, and the first residency is at the end of this month. The work has already started, though, and of course, I’m loving it. I’d forgotten how big of a nerd I am and how much I love homework and reading and teachers and classmates. It’s been an amazing feeling to be back in the world of academics after far too long. I’m back, baby! And I’m ready to take on all the challenges ahead.

Advocacy Update

I wrote a personal essay for Atlanta magazine about wheelchair accessibility in cities, as well as the internal conflict I go through every day trying to balance feeling like a burden with feeling like I’m worth the effort. I cover these topics by describing my whirlwind girls’ trip to Atlanta for the Taylor Swift concert. Check it out here.

Favorite Things of May

Since people were just getting scared by my reading velocity, I thought I’d try a new approach:

Book: The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin - a memoir that had me hooked from the first few pages until the very last one. It’s about her journey from being a soccer mom to heroin addict to prisoner to an unemployable ex-con to other things I won’t spoil for her. Amazing story of redemption and forgiveness but also sheds a light on how the criminal justice system is set up for you to fail.

• Honorable mentions: I Fell In Love With Hope by Lancali - a young adult fiction novel about a group of terminally ill teenagers whose mission it is to steal back moments of life that their illnesses stole from them. It’s written so uniquely and is heartbreaking but it’s so touching too.

• Balcony On The Moon: Coming of Age in Palestine by Ibtisam Barakat - she is a guest lecturer at our upcoming residency so we were assigned one of her books so I’m so excited to hear her speak! This is a memoir about growing up under occupation and the limitations that come with it. I don’t know if I’ve said it before but it’s so important to read stories by Palestinian authors, especially memoirs and historical fiction, because it’s a great way to learn about this decades-long conflict and expand your empathy to a people you may not know much about.

Movie: Laapataa Ladies (Netflix) - most heartwarming, fun, sweet movie I’ve seen in awhile. It’s about two brides from two different villages in India who somehow get switched. I ended up learning a lot about Indian traditions and patriarchal practices. It’s in Hindi but it’s worth reading the subtitles!

TV: Hacks, Season 3 (HBO) - best comedy/drama on TV right now. Excellent acting, witty writing and a hint of heartwarming moments wrapped in sarcasm.

Event: The Kite Runner (play) at Knight Theater - my all-time favorite book by Khaled Housseni was first adapted into a movie (also great) and then adapted for the stage. I was skeptical because I didn’t think they could capture the immense emotions of the book or depict some scenes authentically. But wow, was I wrong. It was incredible. The live acting brought so much power and raw emotion to the story—I was blown away. And of course, weeped. “For you? A thousand times yes.”

Cookie: Chocolate chip cookie from Rhino market (various locations in Charlotte) - thick and dense in the middle with a rich flavor 😋 I’ve eaten three this month 🫣

Song: The Black Dog by Taylor Swift (surprise, surprise) but especially the end of the bridge: And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons / Even if I die screaming / And I hope you hear it

(subtitle is also a TS lyric btw)

TikTok: this might be my favorite viral dance trend ever ;)

Quote: ”Every person who has experienced a personal tragedy inevitably has a pre-tragedy and post-tragedy life, with the former seeming so perfect and the latter seeming so complicated. The key is finding a way to reconcile the two, to take a long, hard look inside one’s heart and soul, and figure what truly makes one happy. I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but I hope I’m getting close.”

Yes, I’m totally narcissistically quoting myself right now. But I wrote this line years ago and I think I’ve finally figured out how to reconcile my two acts. I loved the idea of being a doctor because I loved being able to connect with people and help them live better, every day. Now, through my writing, I get to connect with people everywhere all at once and maybe even help a few live better, every day. I’ve spent fifteen long years staring inside my tortured heart and soul and found that it’s the human connection that makes me truly happy.

Okay, that’s all for now. See ya’ll in a month! ✌🏽

Yours,

Harshada