Rejected.

Enough said 🤷‍♀️

In My “Rejection” Era

Hi guys :) I know it’s a day early, but this way I can wish Setu and Sofie a very happy birthday! 🥳

So I’ve, of course, been rejected before. In my personal life, I’m pretty sure I’m rejected at least once a day and the insecurities that come with that have become so familiar, it’s like an inescapable white noise. But rejection in my professional life? Now that is something new. And brutal.

I received some negative feedback on my manuscript. This was a 62,000-word piece I had put my every last thread of vulnerability and wit into, but it wasn’t enough. I need to do better. I want to do better. And my friends helped me realize, I can do better. But this humbling realization did not come to me easily. It’s gutting, even now, if I let myself think about it too much. Waterworks Rajani returned with a vengeance one Saturday morning and didn’t leave until after dinner that evening when my niece sat peacefully in my lap in her midnight blue party dress, stroking my hair.

Then, Rajul and Chaya scheduled a formal Zoom meeting with an agenda that basically centered around “talking Harshada off a ledge” (kidding! calm down guys). But Rajul did make an agenda and we dissected the feedback and my next steps. One thing became clear to me—one thing I never would have realized without them. They believed I could do better. They knew I could do better, despite my tear-drenched face swearing to Chaya that my manuscript had turned out exactly how I wanted. I can’t tell you how empowering it is to have two writers you love and respect believe in your abilities.

Finally, I turned to my 11th grade/forever English teacher, Mr. Harris, who gave me some much-needed inspiration and an unforgettable, impromptu lesson in craft that reminded me how beautiful the English language can be and how he (and one day, hopefully me) can so easily make it sing. This was all during a school night too and somehow he still made the time to teach me something special.

So now, I have a plan. I’m starting a memoir class next week and returning to reading as many memoirs as I can. I already have a few ideas on how I would improve on my manuscript and the underlying theme that ties it together (I would be happy to talk about this further if anyone is interested). I’m ready for round two. LFG. I’ve also met several aspiring memoirists on Facebook who are in the same position as me with similar feedback. So I also need to remember that debut memoirs are just a tough sell 🤷‍♀️ If you want to know how you can help, I have to work on expanding my “brand” and growing this newsletter. So if you could share my Substack with 1 or 2 (or more 🫣) friends and encourage them to subscribe, I’d be eternally grateful 🥹 Also, I would love your memoir recommendations if you have any!

Quote(s) of the Moment

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote

And my favorite on the subject…

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
― Samuel Beckett

Book Talk

Hello, Beautiful by Ann Napolitano - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Sylvie and Lizz’s rec! This is a kind of modern-day Little Women but with a twist. Four sisters coming-of-age in Chicago amid a rapidly changing world and good old family drama. Beautifully written, rich character development, engaging storyline from beginning to end, heart wrenching at times but heartwarming at others 🩷

Sea Change by Gina Chung - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - it’s a story about a woman dealing with grief from the loss of both her father and boyfriend, and her unique relationship with an octopus at the aquarium where she works. Emotional and relatable themes with a beautiful beginning but a bit slow.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi - (a re-read) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - my absolute favorite memoir. It’s written by a young neurosurgeon diagnosed with terminal cancer during his last year of his residency. It’s heavy, heartbreaking, profound, raw, and just incredible, as he confronts sickness, death and the question of “What makes life meaningful enough to go on living?” as an English scholar, neurosurgeon and finally, in his own life.

Brain on Fire by Susannah Calahan - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - a fascinating memoir written by a young writer in NYC who develops an obscure auto-immune disease in her brain that leads to one wild and terrifying month of WTF? in the hospital. Due to the nature of her illness, she doesn’t remember much of it so the story is built from others’ perspectives. I didn’t feel as connected to the story but still interesting and good vibes!

Well, that’s all for now! BIG shoutout to Taylor, Travis and the Chiefs for filling my month with love stories, touchdown dances, epic victories and sweet nothings that all kept me smiling and thoroughly entertained through this bitterly cold winter. Now I’m left with two big questions:

1. Will Travis walk the red carpet with Taylor on Sunday at the Grammys? Please note - in her 17-year long career, she’s never walked any red carpet with a man.

2. Will Taylor make it back for the Super Bowl from Tokyo where she’s performing the night before? (Pretty confident this answer is yes)

Ok, I have to get back to sending Priya, Reena and PFinn Tayvis content. See you guys next month, with better news hopefully! ✌🏽

Yours,

Harshada