Way Too Real Talk With ibe2fly4u & Some Monthly Faves

Yes, it was my AIM screenname 😎

In My Chaotic Era

I didn’t know what I was going to write about until I started typing this sentence. It’s something insanely vulnerable and I will most definitely chicken out if I stop to think about what embarrassing emotional wreckage I’m unloading on the world. So, here we go!

Photo by Hans Moerman on Unsplash

I read a beautiful memoir, Places I’ve Taken My Body, by Molly Brown who is a fellow young female wheelchair user. She says she feels “outside the realm of desirability.” It’s exactly how I feel but I never realized it until I saw it described so eloquently. When I venture into this wildly uncomfortable topic with my therapist, I’ve only been able to describe it as feeling like an NPC (a non-playable character in video games).

Can a person in a wheelchair be desirable? I obviously used to think the answer was hell no. I think for most people, the answer is still hell no. Especially to those in our heavily judgmental South Asian community where appearances are everything. But I’m starting to believe that the answer can be yes. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

But where does this automatic undesirability come from? Is it the wheelchair itself? The aesthetically displeasing hunk of metal? Or is it the baggage that comes with it? Or is it just society’s constant conditioning that brands us as less human?

While working on stepping to the side, I told my trainers about my NPC theory. They just busted out laughing and said something like “What are you talking about?” in genuine confusion. Maybe their knee-jerk reaction to refute my belief is fueling my wishful thinking. I’m used to the polar opposite reaction. When I’ve told people in the past that I think someone might like me, their immediate reaction is disbelief. A skeptical “are you sure?” or a veiled “something must be wrong with him.”

Since my trainers are entrenched in the rehab world, maybe they’re more open-minded. Or maybe society as a whole is getting more open-minded. Or maybe I’m exuding more confidence. Who knows? Regardless, a girl (in a wheelchair) can dream.

We Win Updates

Only ten days left to buy your tickets for the November 2nd gala in New Jersey. See you there!

Also, please welcome Eva to our Facebook and Instagram accounts! She was one of our first recipients as a 7 year old girl and now a decade later, she’s helping us out! She’s using her marketing skills to up our social media game. A much-needed help! Thank you so much Eva!!

Favorites of the Month

TV show - Nobody Wants This (Netflix) - a perfect romcom. PERFECT 🤩 The acting, the chemistry, the TS reference. A feel good show for sure.

Song - Pink Pony Club by Chapelle Roan - so freaking catchy and girl could use some love right now 👀 Honorable mention - Eminem and Jelly Roll - Somebody Save Me

Podcast - Pod Save America - their election coverage is just unparalleled. Thorough, funny and least infuriating of all political commentary

Book - Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City by Jane Wong - a brilliant essay collection by one of my teachers (!!!) about her life as an Asian American growing up in NJ with a badass mother and a gambling-addicted father. Heartbreaking, heartwarming and so beautifully written.

• Honorable mention - Frankenstein by Mary Shelley - finally read the OG sci-fi book that paved the way for the genre to flourish. This book, about a scientist creating a sentient being, asks questions like what makes us human and probes fascinating topics like the effects of nature vs. nurture, hurt people hurt people, and more. Quick, insightful read!

Movie - Will & Harper (Netflix) - a beautiful, eye-opening, hilarious documentary that follows Will Ferrell on a road trip through middle America with his friend. Added bonus: if you wait for the credits, you’ll see my wonderful and talented friend’s name under sound department: Zach Seivers! 👏🏽

Okay that’s all for now! I have go decide whether my celebrity crush is Adam Brody from Nobody Wants This or Jon Favreau from Pod Save America. 🤔

See ya in a month! ✌🏽Sending love to all those in Western NC 🙏🏽

Yours,

Harshada